Published on July 2nd, 2013 | by Theodore Conklin
Sim City: Game of the Year!
Summary: The best poop/advertisement simulation the gaming world has ever seen. This new original franchise could not possibly be off to a better start.
The first game in a surprising new franchise, Sim City, is a masterpiece that teaches us that it’s OK to poop all the time.
This exciting foray into city building is a fresh original franchise from Electronic Arts (you may remember them from the brand new Madden NFL game from last year that took the football world by storm). The gameplay centers around setting up and managing a city full of “Sims” (that’s EA’s term for “simulated people”) all while making sure that their advertisement consumption needs and bathroom needs are satisfied.
Sim City throws you in feet first, walking the player through the steps required to achieve the first major milestone of the game: building your first sewage solution! People poop every day. It’s an oft-forgotten and shunned part of modern life to deposit excrement summarily down a tube designed to suck it away to places unknown. Sim City makes sure everyone stands up and takes notice of all the poop going on. If you build a working sewage pipe, you can satisfyingly see the poop leave every building and work its way down the streets and out into the local river, lake, or forest. These are the ideal places for poop, since they make sure to either carry the poop far away from your city or re-use the poop in the circle of life.
Watching the sewage pipes can be mesmerizing, and you might lose large portions of your social life to this fascinating activity.
Don’t forget about ads though! Certainly secondary to sewage, advertisements are a hugely important part of life for everyday people. Sims are no different. Sim City has a vast amount of billboards, signs, and independently branded buildings to add that important advertising flavor to your city. Feeling down about the environment? Place a Nissan Leaf car charging station! Remind those Sims that they are probably actively killing animals and children each time they take their non-electric vehicle out for a spin. Feeling dirty? The Crest branded toothpaste park is right up your alley! Placing one of those can really increase hygiene awareness within your Sims, and might even give them another opportunity to poop as they go home to brush their teeth yet another time during the day.
Not to be outdone by other poop simulators, Sim City also allows you to share poop production/consumption with your friends via an extensive online poop sharing system. You can create regions that can support up to 16 poop-creation simulations while either sharing poop between multiple cities, or having one city take all the poop for itself! The replay value of this type of experience is essentially infinite. We always need to poop, and we never want to think about it. Sim City removes our shame and lets us live freely. Here’s hoping that the brand new Sim City franchise continues unhindered for years to come! Who knows, maybe its success will rub off on Madden NFL Football and spark a sequel due to EA brand loyalty! I have a feeling that with EA, the possibilities are endless.