Published on July 13th, 2013 | by Tony Monero

Microsoft Limits the Kinect XL to the XL Sector

Redmond, WA – For people larger than life, going through the day can be a pain. Professional athletes, overweight individuals, and the rest of the extra-large do not have the same luxuries as normal people do. These men and women drive their cramped cars, rip their under-sized clothes, and deal with the small version of every necessity.

Well, I have good news and bad news for the larger folk. The bad news is that shrink ray technology is impossible, but the good news is that Microsoft is giving a perk to being larger than life.

While every gamer has been eager to try out the Kinect XL®, Microsoft has other plans in mind. The Kinect XL® will only be available to the XL sector of the population. This means that normal sized gamers will be unable to purchase a Kinect XL® system of their own.

Many are outraged at the announcement, but Microsoft is not relenting on their plan. “We feel that people who are larger than normal deserve better treatment. We know everyone was looking forward to the Kinect XL®, but we feel that this product will benefit the large-sized gamer.” For gamers waiting for the Kinect XL®, this announcement comes at an inopportune time. Joe Gamersmith has been waiting for months and he’s angry that Microsoft would do such a thing. “Look at me. I’m skinny as a twig waiting for the new Kinect XL®. Now, I have to eat and use growth hormone so I can be eligible to get one!”

It’s true that normal size gamers are definitely being neglected by Microsoft. However, the plus-sized gamers may want to support Microsoft for paying attention to their needs. In any case, the Kinect XL® is sure to bring joy despite its exclusivity.


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About the Author

Tony Monero

I am a Redneck, a scientist, a scholar, a good ol' boy, educated, rustic, green, a dedicated carnivore, a true moderate, and opinionated.

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